When is knowing too much harmful?

On your journey to get fit, the ride uphill is hard but the fall downhill is unbearable, in my case, I feel helpless, powerless, and it is crashing down with no hints of slowing down, let alone stopping.

So, winter of 2013, I decided to change my lifestyle. I decided to go ahead and try a take on a fit life. The journey was hard but the results were so worth it if not more. In 3 months I lost 7 kgs and I was oh-so-proud of myself. The changes were undeniable and the compliments about my self-control and progress probably got into my head because, right after that, one fine day, I lost it all, all my self control,motivation and since the last 4-5 months, I started binge eating and my lifestyle went downhill. Everyday I wake up determined and a little sad for all the hard work I spoiled and every single day, i go to bed disappointed.

But, my point is. I never had binge eating disorder before. How did it just develop? I did control my calories but I never starved myself. My doubt is, I read a lot about binge eating Disorder (BED) while researching for  a healthy lifestyle and probably because I kept coming across it, I read about it, researched it, it somehow got into. I know this sounds absolutely crazy but have you ever had times when you thought "I'm never gonna have to go through that" or "I'll never like that" or "I have never been one of them" but later, you find yourself in THAT most unexpected situations. When knowing too much about an absolutely oblivious topic later results in you facing it yourself. I'm no psychology pro but this is something I've noticed through out my life and it's something that I've been pondering hard about since the last few months. Maybe this is not possible but maybe, I am sharing this because I might not be the only one. You know, being affected by something so not obvious. What if I never knew what BED was? I would never have the idea it existed. That this was possible. I might have never developed it. I know two very close people who completed their weight loss journey and are living a healthy life. None of them knows what BED is. Until I told one of them about this. Then why me? Is it my fault that I know too much? That I was taking precautions?

Nevermind, till I get back on track to the bright and healthy me 5 months back and is a plate full of sweet fritters that I am finishing off in the kitchen so nobody catches me binging.

xoxo